Intimacy

I wrote this something like two years ago now…even then, I knew that feeling safe was the key.

Cytherean Dreams

To be intimate is to feel safe
knowing that they see your
vulnerability
and love you for it,
will use that time for pleasure,
stimulating joy in all its forms,
and protect you from pain.
There is no closeness
without security, safety,
deep certainty of trust
that this other person
only wants
what you know
is your dream come true.

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Shell

Her words, in books,
speak to me of eternal truths
ring clear and vibrant
alighting my soul, and
seeing her speak
should be miraculous
yet instead is sorrowful.
She is, was, gone now, but
then, was a shell of a woman
an emptiness with a voice
a resonance disconnected from joy
yet speaking as if
she knew what it was to love
never living her own words.
I send my light to you
the violet fires you helped ignite
and hope that when
you’re here again, you
learn this time
how to trust in your own joy
and live fully in love.

Daily Love Quote: #16 (Jason Mraz)

The Trouble with Lying

I teach my children
who like all, sometimes lie
that I know it’s easy to lie, and
it’s not that it makes you
feel bad. No one
can tell, sometimes, not
even me. And you’ll likely
feel smart, even smarter
than your mommy.
But that’s not why it’s wrong.
It’s wrong because you become
fake, a parody
of the real you.
You won’t trust anyone
to love you
for who you are, because
all they’ll know
is the fake you
that you show the world.
And you’ll start to believe
the real you
doesn’t deserve
to be loved
because don’t they all
just want to hear
what you’re telling them now?
You’ll lose yourself
in your own lies
and your heart will wither.
Give me, give the world
a chance to celebrate
your realness,
your messy authenticity
and you won’t ever
even want to lie.

Something Old

It’s an old idea, quaint
and silly and just
wrong for today’s
bustling, honest world
to save myself
as if I need saving
but what else
can I do, with
this powerful energy
that both binds me and
sets me free?
Too wild to trust
too unforgiving of mistakes
too much a part of me
to medicate away.
Something old, and I
am reborn, brand new.

Dreams only come true when there’s faith and trust…

Cytherean Dreams

Don’t toy with me.
This means too much.
Don’t dangle my dream
out in front of me
on a string and yank
it away when I get close
to pulling it near,
catching it, finally, but
then left heartbroken, again.
If you see it too,
come build it with me.
Dreams only come true
when there’s faith and trust
and working through the muck
to find the buried treasure.

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No Future

There’s no future here,
he said, because I don’t fit
the picture he has in his head
of the girl he wants
to meet, someone less attached
less burdened with responsibilities
so they can learn together,
I suppose, or so he
can have less to deal with
in his future, the one
he sees without me
in it. The one with the girl
who won’t push his limits
or stir his emotions
too soon, too strong
who will just hold hands
and not want for more.
Who he doesn’t have to trust
as he risks everything
because he’ll never have
the opportunity to lose
everything. She’ll
be safer than me, somehow,
in their future.
I’ll be happier here
in mine, with the
cosmic dance singing
in my veins, still loving
with all that I am.