Chakra energy, Empathy, Friends, Gratitude, Healing, Home, Journeys, New Paths, Pain

The Quiet

I loved the quiet, most days.
It would wrap around me, soft and moist
rich with imagined dreams
as I searched, hoping
to find my prince, my future.
Or it would console me
as I cried hot painful tears
of longing and forbidden love.
The quiet was my only friend, some days.
But what was is no longer what is,
and I’m glad to see the quiet
limp away from my doorway, to find
another soul who needs a friend.

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Empathy, Heartbreak, Journeys, Pain, People, Truth

Miserable

I’d be happier
for you
if you weren’t
so miserable
if the announcement
of your supposed joy
wasn’t heralded
by regressing
back, desperately
trying to remember
who you are
who you were
as you drown
sucked into
her world.
I hope you’re happy.
But I feel,
in crushing waves,
your misery.

Chakra energy, Courage, Empathy, Family, Friends, Gratitude, Healing, Home, Hope, Journeys, Judaism, Love, Miracles, People, Truth

Thankful

From last Thanksgiving, but I’m thankful still.

Cytherean Dreams

On this day,
I’m thankful for my children
growing faster now
too fast, and
I want to stop time
with them small
but I’m so proud
of the strong, gracious,
inquisitive and empathetic
young women
they’re becoming.

On this day,
I’m thankful for my parents
all four of them
who’ve guided me
and tried their best
to impart their wisdom and love
even as they struggle
through through their own
challenges and triumphs.

On this day,
I’m thankful for the women
who support me and listen
and navigate through the world
on their own paths
but always happy to travel
with me and cheer me on.

On this day,
I’m thankful for the men
who’ve loved me and held me
given me the secure knowledge
of my worth and
the warmth of knowing
they will be there,
if I fall.

On this day,
I’m thankful most of all
for my…

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Courage, Family, Gratitude, Healing, Heartbreak, Hope, Judaism, Love, New Paths, Pain, People, Questions

Manifest

Wishing for something,
there’s no guarantee,
who will appear
to help set me free.
The wishing is tiring
and all I want to be
is with you, sitting there
on the bench next to me.
One miracle manifest
made flesh and blood.
My inner dream come true
heart burst in a flood.
A musician, a thinker,
a father, a friend.
Manifest and then vanished
woke up at dream’s end.
So where do I go
after dreaming, to be
held in some new arms.
I don’t know. Is that me?
Can I overcome
my heart’s longing and see
that I have a chance
to still dance merrily?

Heartbreak, Love, Pain, People, Questions, Regret

Fever

Awakening, feverish,
memories of you
hovering over me
effortlessly exposed
and you grinned and said
I woke up today dreaming
about you, about that moment
and fevered and shaking
you haunted my hands
as I lost myself in you.
So I reached
up for you and
pulled you close
never thinking
that would be
the last time I could.
Fevered aching today
again
and wondering
do you ever still
dream, and wake sweating
lost in memories
of me?

Heartbreak, Love, Pain, Regret

Drunk Dial

I’ll just
turn off the computer
before I do
something
really stupid, like
e-mail you again, when
I know, I really do know
that you
have no interest
in me
anymore or
need for me or
spark that
lights up when
you see anything
from me and
you haven’t even read
the last ones
but just
sent them into
firewall misery
burst into
ether digital flames
so why do I want
so, so badly,
just to tell you
that I miss you and
I think about you
every time I see that
stupid courtyard, every day,
and I check
to see whether
you still
list yourself
as single, but
what does that
matter anyways
you can’t
even look at me
not even digitally, anymore,
and
I’m just
a fading memory
of a silly time when
you lost your head
for just a bit, and
did things
you don’t ever
want to do again,
at least
not with
or because of
me.
Thank God
I deleted your number
and can’t
be so stupid
as to actually call.

Heartbreak, Judaism, Love, Pain, Regret

Snow

Snow, pure white
lacing the ancient stones
when you
were standing here,
on this wall.
But now, lights dance,
a festival,
music and crimson and turquoise
pulsating in dramatic
rhythmic time.
You would think
it would drown out
everything else, but
all I see, while the crowd
around me wonders
at the marvels
spread out below, is
the white dots of light,
snow falling once again.