Courage, Family, Healing, Heartbreak, Home, Journeys, Love, New Paths, Pain, People

The Everything

You are the everything,
inscribed in my ring.
A song he once gave me
my young heart to sing.

I was his everything
his moon and his stars
his life in my hands
his home became ours.

But being his everything
wasn’t enough.
I drowned, suffocating
expected to stuff

My feelings, my everything
down deep inside.
I did what was expected
of me, of his bride.

So being his everything
wasn’t for me,
I know, now alone,
on this winding journey.

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Courage, Fun, Home, Hope, Journeys, New Paths, Questions

Bend

If we round the bend
just you and me and
leave California beach behind
travel into leafy wilderness
where seasons change
green summer into red fall
will we be happy then?
Could we live there
knowing the train could come
at any moment
to destroy our peace
with reminders of the lives
left behind?
Or will the leaves enfold us
hiding our home from view
until they die in winter?
Hold tightly through the cold
until spring comes again
in our new found home
beyond the bend.

Chakra energy, Courage, Empathy, Family, Gratitude, Healing, Heartbreak, Home, Hope, Journeys, New Paths

Cleanse

“A thirty day cleanse!
Thirty days to a new you!”
A thinner you, a trimmer you,
a you better able to pull
the rest of the world in
and bend it to your liking.

No, that’s not
the cleanse I need.
I need a cleanse
to push the world out.
Mark my boundaries clearly
and pull my energy inwards.
Save my love for myself,
my children, my homes,
and focus on healing
my heart
without you
without anyone
to muddy my clarity
and drain my soul.

“Thirty days to
a brand new you!”
I’ll take a brand new me,
without you, at all.

Chakra energy, Empathy, Gratitude, Home, Hope, Judaism, Love, Miracles

Here

It makes no sense
no logical reason but
it feels like you’re here
like I could have
might have the potential
of turning a corner
or glancing over and
there you would be
larger than life still
the space around you
bending, curving in
on itself to make room
for you, force of nature
that you are. It feels
like you could show up
at my door tonight or
tomorrow, come home
where you know
you’re missed and
could fill up that empty
space inside with
the radiant energy
of our sacred space.
It makes no sense
with you thousands of
miles away, but
I feel you here, tonight.

Chakra energy, Empathy, Home, Journeys, New Paths, Pain

Impersonal

I used to feel at home, here,
greeted like an old friend
when I entered, hugs and smiles
instant recognition
of my name, my worth.
But this year feels different.
It feels impersonal,
like work, not home.
I can tell the difference now,
and I’m glad I’ll be
home soon.

Chakra energy, Courage, Empathy, Healing, Hope, Journeys, Love, Questions

Cycles

The wheel has turned round
again, and I am different
now than last time
the start of this spiral
always spinning
and I remember who I was
at the start of the last
cycle, dizzy with
the breakdowns and rebellion
the growth into myself
that was just beginning
born again as a woman
no longer a girl unable
to stand alone.
I start this spin now
worried, looking ahead
to a bleak yet fulfilling
future, desperate for true love
to come home to me
and so afraid of whether
I could survive, if I got
my wish. But
the cycle continues
whether I’m scared or not
and it would just be
so much more fun
to close my eyes
breathe love in deep
and dive in.