Exorcism

The demon lies, whispering
in your jealous ear
that I’m the problem
I’m the cause
of your unhappiness
and your pain, stabbing,
I must be, because
weren’t you happy, then
and now, you’re not, and
why not me, my
fat deadweight, selfish brat,
always demanding attention,
keeping you from getting
the respect and devotion
that is so rightfully yours?

I cast you out, demon.
Leave my brother in peace.
Let him heal, and see.
Let him remember himself
and not rewrite history
with your vicious lies.

I cast you back
to burn
in your Hell.
Leave us alone
to create
our own Heaven.

Sprawl

I see you.

Well, not you,

not really, not

the you wherever

you lie sleeping tonight

but the you

you were two

short weekends ago

sprawled carelessly

happily languid

across my bed.

Our bed, now.

It’s your soul

haunting our bedroom

a ghost of you

that brings a ghost

of a smile

back to me.

You have such

gorgeous sprawl.

Last Time

It’ll be the last time

I do this.

The last time

I wear a white gown

and give myself

become a gift and promise

and destiny at last

and so the question

guiding every choice,

what will I be sad if

I don’t have it, this time?

Because this is the last time.

Until years hence

when we’re ninety-somethings

dancing, knees cracking

in happy time with our steps.

Lessons

Thinking about the journey today.

Cytherean Dreams

Here’s what I’ve learned
since my breakdown began.
I’ve learned about boundaries
and pain and how love is not
enough to build a life but
love and values and goals and fun are.
I’ve learned about empathy
and walls and how connections
remain strong despite years
or distance or lifetimes.
I’ve learned about destiny,
and the plan, and signs
that point the way to
greater joy and evolution.
I’ve learned about gratitude
and blessings and strength
through healing others with
my powerful energy.
And I’ve learned that you
are a godsend, but
that doesn’t mean
I own you or you owe me.
It just means I’m happier
knowing you exist and
wiser for learning
the lessons from knowing
from loving you.

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