Hug

A hug to anyone who needs one, on their path.

Cytherean Dreams

I enfold you
hold you close to me
and pass along
my strength
my warmth
seeping through your skin
in a golden mist
imbuing you
with life and purpose.
You are not done
your dream
is just beginning.
And as you walk
whenever you need
I hold you
and give you hope.

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Sun King

Reading a book about Jewish Mysticism, and it describes how bringing in the Sabbath on Friday night is a living representation of the feminine aspect of God (Shekinah) arriving to wed the masculine aspect of God (Tiferet). She arrives from the West and the congregation faces her to welcome her in. Reminded me of this moment, which was the wedding I didn’t know at the time I was in.

Cytherean Dreams

He glows golden, blonde and white,
the light surrounding him,
rays piercing the sky.
A highlight corona even in bright day.

I crest the hilltop,
ocean waves crashing behind me,
my breath deepens and my heart floats as I see
him
illuminating the sands.

My sun king, now subdued,
needing his queen, pale and glowing blue,
to complete, complement. Balance.
An eternal dance, sun and moon.

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Soft Eyes

I see with soft eyes
background blurring past
but the path lit
with patches of recognition
of glowing figures
who appear and change
my world my life
always for the better
if I let them in
and don’t focus too much
on the details of what’s
slouching behind them
the darkness of their journeys
threatening to pull me
off my steed, galloping
through this wilderness
with speed enough
to keep me sane and moving
but slow enough to see
my loves, my soulmates
when they appear, soft
eyes resting on them
blurry golden halos
illuminating my way.

Remember

I remember you
every minute, as
I remember the feel
of my own breath
in my lungs. I
remember your touch
your long fingers
and strong hands.
I remember the faint
spicy scent of you
as your cheek
grazed mine. I
remember the glances
the brief meeting of
our eyes and hearing
your thoughts in
my mind in
those moments of clarity.
I remember
my heart beating
through my whole body, aglow
with tingling crackling
energy, sparks flying
through the air.
I remember not looking
at you in those
last months, giving
you space but
your voice filling
my ear still and
smiling softly to myself
proud that you were you.
I remember you, beloved.
You are etched into the song
my blood sings in my veins.

Quiet

I can tell the difference.
When you’re here
the world sparkles just
a bit more than before
and everyone sees it
in my face
as I glow
brighter, younger,
for those few days.
And when you leave
again, I feel it
and the quiet comes back
the stillness that
makes me wonder
if any of this
was real
at all. Until
the next time
I feel you
and start anew.

What’s Inside Me

I love you.
I am
completely in love
with you.
Even knowing that I know
so very little
about you, and
have spent
so little time with you,
I just love you.
Even knowing that
quite literally, you can’t
stand the sight
of me, I love you.
I have since the moment I met you.
You are
in such a different category
than anyone
I’ve ever met
that it amazes me
this category even exists.
Meeting you
was a lightning bolt,
you glowed
with this golden light, and
it was like
arrows were pointing at you
saying THIS one
is really important.
I’ve never
had a reaction
like that
to meeting anyone, ever.

It’s true that
this year
pushed me into growing up,
finding myself
out there in the world,
So I’ve found myself
and all I want
is you, with me, still.
And it hasn’t faded
over time, but gotten stronger
through all of this.
I’ve seen you
at your best and your worst,
and I’m still
completely twitterpatted.

And I feel
completely crazy
to love you so much, and
yet so happy
that I love you so much, and
so sad because I miss you,
all at the same time.
And how can I forget you
when, even in the real world
and not just
inside my head,
the universe has set it up
so that you’ll be parked
across the street
from my house
every once in a while,
popping up whether
I want you to or not?
God has a sense of humor,
no question.

This is
how I really feel. And
it’s a lot, way too much,
too much emotion, and
about as subtle as a firehose.
It just makes me cringe
that this is what I need to do.
And oh my God,
is it way too much.
And embarrassing.
And depressing
that you
inspire me like this, and
this is how I have to
work it out, because
I have no other way to do it.

It’s either this or
hours of crying,
knowing that I’m
doing the wrong thing
by hiding away.
No more hiding.
This is how I feel.
I barely know you and
honestly,
you barely know me, but
I love you, regardless.
And I’m
just going to have to deal
with that, knowing
that your last statement
to me was
“stay away from me forever.”
So I’m going with that,
and staying away, but
I just need to show you
what’s inside me, and
be completely honest,
just once.