Chakra energy, Pain, People, poetry, Questions, Regret, Truth, Uncategorized

Drafts

The drafts go unpublished.

What is it that I

Just won’t let you see?

Doesn’t matter anymore.

Because no one is looking.

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Empathy, Heartbreak, Journeys, Pain, Regret, Truth

I don’t blame you

You’ve deserted me at last

empty bars on the counter screen

empty echoes of broken ley lines

that used to flow, vibrant and thrumming.

I can’t feel them anymore.

I can barely remember

why I ever cared.

So I don’t blame you for

moving on, leaving no trace

of who you once were,

my devoted one. I’m 

just so boring now, and there’s

nothing more to see

here.

Chakra energy, Empathy, Home, Judaism, New Paths, Pain, Regret

Promised Land

I miss the joy of learning

the joy of renewal

the joy of ancient words

made new again with

new life, new songs

connections to the past fraying

I drift, adrift, driftless

Dismembered 

by the loss of you

of what you represented

of the holiness in myself

Family, Heartbreak, Pain, People, Questions, Regret

Clouded

Foggy, hazy, clouded mind, I’m yelling
I hear myself screaming, growling
at who? The nameless forces
blocking what I know
must be done. Says who?
Why must it, again?
What’s so important
about any of the trappings of time
the trivial travails of the everyday
that I turn on them, fierce and
fearful? To be feared?
The clouds part and clarity and sanity return and I know being loved is
so much sweeter than feared.
So why do I start swinging
angry and arrogant
when the foggy cloudiness of insanity descends?

Healing, Hope, Journeys, Judaism, New Paths, Pain, Questions, Regret

Balance Sheet

As 5775 approaches, my thoughts from the new year two years ago.

Cytherean Dreams

One side, my
positives, my strengths
and beauty
that I bring to
this world,
in this life.
The other, my
weaknesses, my sins
the cruelty
I inflict upon others
when I ignore
their cries and pleadings.
Who is me?
Both, or all, or
the parts I love
but hate myself
as I lose control
and let the terrors
run wild?
It’s not mine
to answer,
but instead
to question
and strive
to tip the balance
to the light.

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