Good

Am I good for you?

A heart-rending question. Still

you once answered yes.

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Three AM

3 am insomnia 

listening to the sounds of breathing

my husband, the cars outside in doppler exhalation,

wondering if wakefulness will be

my new curse, my new normal 

here in this new and old place

where what was once normal

is now shattered,

where I can drive and point

out the window and say,

there’s where we married, or say,

there’s where we broke into pieces  and 

both were true, once, but don’t really matter

anymore, years later, now that there is no more we.

I am intertwined with the breathing, instead,

as my still nearly newlywed husband reaches

his arm over, to hold me in the dark.

Categories: Empathy, Healing, Home, Journeys, Love, Marriage, Pain, People | Tags: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Lice and Love

I want you to sleep

With me still, even though you’re 

Infested. That’s love.

Categories: Empathy, Fun, Gratitude, Love, Marriage, Truth | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Forgiving

my heart, a black stone 

I forgave myself tonight

since I’m all that’s here

Categories: Chakra energy, Empathy, Healing, Hope, Miracles, New Paths, Pain, Regret | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Uncertainty

I awake this morning not knowing

where you are or

if you’ll return, whole and healed,

come back to me with 

newfound strength and confidence

or never return again just

letting me leave, without you, and

in my uncertainty, I remember

my own words, read aloud 

one year ago today,

our prophet, your brother, spoke

proclaimed for all to hear –

I have Faith in our love and 

I have Faith in you and

that is all the certainty I need.

Categories: Courage, Empathy, Family, Healing, Hope, Journeys, Love, Marriage, Miracles, New Paths, Pain, People, Truth | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Heart burns

Burning heart, threatening

To break out of my chest

To burst and send me spiraling

Into death. But

What would they do

Without me? So

I feel a heart attack coming on

But I don’t have time for that

When you’re lost, and

My heart burns for you.

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HappinessĀ 

Happiness with you

Is a prize worth more than gold.

Don’t take it away.

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I love you more

I love you more than

You love your alcohol. Fight

it. Sober up. Live.

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Blessing in Disguise

If you fulfill your promise, live your path, and

earn the right to die at peace,

this will be your reward:

You live to see yourself helpless, weak, frail, and

in that weakness, you can see true love, pouring

out from the children you raised or friends you nurtured

as they stop their lives to travel with you

as far as they can, before

you float across the threshold of death

no longer weighed down by a body

now wasted, dessicated, but no waste pouring out, 

only a shell, a skin that you shed knowing

It was never really you, but just a vessel, carrying your luminous spirit,

a means to fulfill your peaceful end, finally seeing the love you created,

finally fulfilling your place in the skein.

Categories: Courage, Death, Empathy, Journeys, Love, Miracles, Truth | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Vigil

The opposite of me once said,

Who would want to go into that room

where someone, especially someone I love,

lays dying? Send someone else instead,

someone who cannot feel. The best healers

are those without empathy, those who cannot see

who will not feel 

the pain.

But I rush into those rooms

headlong and headstrong

to sing to the dying songs of love and joy

to put rainbows in their dreams and paradise in their sight

to connect them to the truth

of the universe’s faithful love even

through transition beyond. 

We must be opposites, because I live

where you cannot bear to stand.

Categories: Chakra energy, Courage, Death, Empathy, Family, Healing, Journeys, Miracles, Pain, Truth | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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